I grew up in an atheist home, but my spirit was seeking something more. I was blessed to have a family of Baptists living down the road, which taught me about Christ. However, after I got baptized, I started noticing things about the protestant faith that were inconsistent with what seemed right.
Why did they act like the man who ran the Sons of Satan out of the temple with a whip to be crucified for it, was a pacifist? Why was engaging in certain behaviors unacceptable, yet if others engaged in them it wasn’t my place to judge or condemn them while the preachers did it weekly?
It also failed to answer my questions of history. Why were there so many different types of, “Christianity”? Why all the division. They did have half-assed answers, mostly to shut me up. It required me to believe my sheperds without question. To be a spiritual sheep. Needless to say, I left the church.
I spent over 20 years seeking my place in the world. To find my calling. I studied everything I could get my hands on. Science, religion, and even paganism. I went to the cradle of civilization and fought in unholy wars. I became a mercenary.
Several times I stared death in the face, taunting it, asking for sweet release. I became fearless, and decided to not let myself be pushed or swayed by anyone. That I would rather die, than to live in someone else’s reality. Eventually, I learned how to impose my will on the world around me. It became easier in time, until one day my arrogance blindsided me, and I received a wake up call. God bitch slapped me, and answered my prayers.
I found out God had other plans for me.
Now, I live a life of blessings I am unworthy of, but nonetheless thankful. I walk in the footsteps of the messiah, and I will gladly lay down my life for him.
Listen to Mysterium Fasces Episode 1: Christian Fascism